Homer Beer Sound
How to save money, homeless Style
Here are some tips that may come in handy when you're down your money spent and that concern at the next meal or shower origin. I spend the last 20 years perfecting the art of being a complete and utter cheapskate so my advice is solid.
Save money on your water bill and stop taking showers. Let me introduce you to a little something that sometimes is somewhat disparagingly as a shower "Mexican." How a "Mexican shower" is that it works to strip down to basics and give your body a good once again with a cloth in front of the sink. All you need is a bit of warm water and (optionally) soap you clean as a whistle, ready for another day. If you want to go with a fun, energetic and slightly dangerous option you can strip down to basics and jump into your pool or sprinkler neighbors for a quick rinse.
My friend told me about this great tip. Instead of risking your money at the casino, what is there to beg for parking in search of loose poker chips? Sometimes people have forgotten that and drop or lose them in the parking lot. Probably could make a killing if he crawled on hands and knees picking up loose chips.
Why pay $ 10 for a movie when you can see for free. Sneak over to the road and squint and try to see the drive in movie screen. If tune your radio to the appropriate frequency may be able to pick up sound from the movie. Bring your own popcorn and soda and it's almost like a romantic night at the movies but do not have to pay for it.
Brew your own alcohol. I think this is illegal in many states to check the local laws of your state before you start filling the tub. Brewing your own beer or moonlight can take a long time and even life threatening if you do not know what you're doing (remember that episode of "The Simpsons "when Homer makes its own beer and began to explode in the basement? That was a good idea.) There are many online guides for brewing home, but there may be a limit on the amount you can legally brew. Again, check your local state laws because I'm pretty sure you can go to jail for brewing more than a certain amount or perhaps is whether the beer with intent to sell. What do I look like an expert?
Stop eating. Go into a week month long fast. It's good for you and save you money. You will be able to cleanse your body of all Aldi cheap food has been purchased with fasting week. Another advantage is that you can pretend you are fasting for religious reasons, when people ask if you really want to sound like a good person. Who knows, perhaps pleasant, Christian girl stuck to finally give you the time of day when she discovers she is fasting of Jesus. There are no guarantees, however.
About the Author
Alan Lomax is a freelance writer and freeloader.
Homer Simpson Sings “Beer Song”