Beer Northwest
My wife is driving me crazy! We are looking at houses in New Jersey and she says no to everything we look @
Here is the thing. We are on a budget here in NJ. The housing is rediculously expensive here, and the taxes are too high. We are looking to only spend a max of 300K on a house, and we are looking in Northwest NJ. Everything that we see in our price range she doesn’t like. There is always something wrong with it. It’s either too this, or too that…and they are often little stupid things that most people can overlook. She has a vision of what she wants in her head and any deviation from it is a no no to her. She wats the first house to be perfect, and reality is, she aint gonna get it here. She has champagne taste with a beer purse.
We looked at this one house and I loved it. Its my dream home. It’s an old turn of the century Victorian, upgraded, in a nice area. Its about 2500 Sq. Ft. in our price range. I love it, its georgeous! And she doesnt want it becasue an old house would be “too expensive to heat, cool, and maintain”.
What gives? What should I do?
Being a married male i can relate to you and going through a similar phase with my wife as well. In the end it is all about whether yours and hers dreams match. You can agree to disagree but she has to understand that in a certain amount of budget this is the best that you guys can do and afford. You can always get the heating estimates from the previous owners and communicate with your wife. But if she is not willing to listen then its not going to work. And I suggest at that point you need to put your foot down. As she has been negating every house that you see and even the one that is your dreamhouse…. Right?? So, I feel there is a basic regard issue going on here. With due respect to your wife and not to hurt your feelings or make you feel bad….my take is that she just wants her own way. Marriage is not always 50-50….or 100-0 or 60-40. Its a healthy balance which comes if one of the partners or both the partners are willing to listen and compromise.
So I would say, if this is your dream house, please let her know and wait for her reaction. If she still doesn’t budge in then just go ahead and make a decision on the house. and let her decorate it. If she is an objective person then she will understand it.
Hope it helps…
JS
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