Beer Blue Bottle
Get The shrimp in the ….. Barbie and Ken ..
Well, it's been fun, has been great and, well, I have to say I'm going to miss something men ferocious.
Six years ago, this little duck Australian got off the plane at O'Hare International Airport in Chicago and quickly emptied her stomach into the shoes of the likes nice young lady at the customs.
(For those of you who already know of my previous article "Dazed and Confused Smalltown in America, Customs had advanced warning this time about my inability to fly without throwing. The security guards came running with the bucket, but Unfortunately, it was too late.)
Three years later, I'll be taking a step back on a plane (with a large percentage of internal security group Working back, as my stomach has been officially designated as a WMR: "Weapon of Mass regurgitation.") and return to the sunburned country I call home … Australia.
At the time I lived in the U.S., it has given me a lot of issues to write and, more importantly, fun.
To be fair, I thought I would take this opportunity to fill you all in on some of the quirks and oddities that can only be found "Under the system."
To start, popular Aussie world are recognized by our spending habits.
It is possibly because .. a beer) is cheaper than the bottles of Dasani " of water. b) Can not turn on the TV without some hint of eyebrows our former Prime Minister and the beer is cheaper than Prozac. c) We're just a nation of alcoholics.
Greetings from the eastern state of Queensland. Our state makes its own beer, which is labeled elegant "XXX" stamped on the can in large, red letters.
There have been many jokes about this course. The most common is for Queensland as I can not spell "beer." This is untrue and very offensive for our people.
We know how to spell "beer" is only too often we Tiddly bother pronouncing.
My sister-in-law Indiana had a slightly different interpretation when he came to visit five years ago.
We were driving past a pub over label flashing beer harmlessly on the windows when he turned to me, horrified, and said, "You certainly have a lot of places with extra extra porn available, no? "
Another habit that Australians have adopted in recent years is the shortening of names and words to have a familiar and fond of them. (Actually, it's done so we can understand.) This is usually achieved by adding "s" to any object inanimate set eyes on him.
Barbecues: barbies
Underwear: Underwear
Cans of beer tinnies
Cookies: bikkies
Postmen: postie
Garbage collection has also been given a name of affection of his people: "Garbo." I doubt, however, that there metaphorical relationship with sweaty men in blue overalls and famous star, movie alone.
If you do happen to visit our beaches just do not be alarmed if you hear people call each other "Bazza", "Gazza" or "Shazza".
No, not the victims of parents who chose name their children after drinking several tinnies' by 'XXXX'. They are just terms of endearment for people who happened to be named "Barry" "Gary" or "Sharon" (After her parents had sent a pair of tinnies' by 'XXXX'.)
You also do not need to worry about the number of times I hear someone say how "angry" they were. (As in: "I was upset last sooo Saturday night, "" How was angry after drinking twenty Gazza 'tinnies "of" XXXX "?)
Unlike our American friends, Australians use the word 'annoying' to articulate precisely the level of intoxication achieved on a given day. Therefore, do not go out arm themselves with the biggest stick you can find. There are a race of people angry, we just like having lots of fun (usually at the expense our kidneys).
No, definitely not an antagonistic society.
We are all partners "to each other.
You tell us heard calling each other "comrade" as if it were actually a period at the end of a sentence. ("G'Day, mate." "How going friend? ")
In fact, we are "partners", even if they hate death. ("Touch my 'tinnie' of 'XXXX, mate, and call you from here until next week! ")
In a more serious note, the Australians, Indeed, on issues involving the world outside the corner bar.
We have hit the British and Pakistani cricket in the field for nearly a decade now, not to mention holding some kind of registration to play one of the most violent sports, and no brain around: Rugby League.
None of this helmet shield crotch and stuff for us … pads are for "control of the bladder.
We will pursue, confront, and basically try to break every bone in your body you from getting the ball from one end of the field to another.
Therefore, as you can see, I'm not partial "I think all countries are strange and bizarre sometimes, including mine.
I do not know how much will have changed when you return. One of the things that have often found myself thinking in Chicago, where I live, is why people hang "WE call the police" signs in their windows (to which I say "Jolly good. I call pizza delivery and occasionally My Nanna on Sunday. ")
It is quite possible that on arriving in Oz will sport windows similar warning signs like "We call Russell Crowe." (That should frighten any intruder, or, well, any gladiator anyway.)
I hope to bring more news and interesting facts of the great land of the south in the near future. For now, I will break a "Tinnie 'of' open XXXX 'Shazza call my good friend," "and tell the fire until the shrimp on the Barbie' 'To my home sacred pilgrimage.
Until next time buddy …
About the Author
Kylie is a well travelled free-lance writer who has been published in several magazines in Australia and the United States including “Honestly Woman” and “Third Coast Marketing”.
Come on in..sit down and enjoy…bring your prescription drugs if necessary.
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