Beer Belly Girls Song
Virtually fat free
I was struggling with a subject to be my last rant about, let's see weapons of mass destruction gun crime, religion, climate change, the Beckhams … all quite boring and overdone. So I thought why not write about what it is today, and 99% of my waking (and probably most of my dream) life in my mind … and that is food. I bet you all thought I was going to say next, the sex! Well believe it or not, even this little nympho confessed to prefer a curry stuffed most of the time!
I love the food. I love same. Nothing makes me happier. My whole life is governed by my next meal. We also truly believe that with the exception of my father, I can eat more than anyone I have known, and people who know me reading this saying "but do not eat that much?" I've seen myself stop eating. I always can always eat more I feel full even though I can eat more. Now it was very skinny as a teenager, but as my 25th birthday looms around the corner I have to face the facts that I have (though I hate to say) become a woman and things did not feel like they used to. I'm lumps and bumps which were never before and the right sod them is my favorite pass time eating you're doing this to me. I've never been, never will and never want to be a size zero. Why someone is beyond me and the whole debate about young girls looking at models in magazines and become anorexic and so does my crust in. If someone looks at the essentially a skeleton wrapped in skin and yearns to look like that then let the hungry idiot to death. You may think this is a bit controversial, but it is my opinion and works on the other side of the scale as well. Take for example the whole McDonalds "Super Size Me" theme. McDonalds is bad for you, everybody knows it's bad for you. Normal people do occasionally enjoy a McMeal, enjoy every second of it then shit and then feel guilty. If someone sees a McDonald's menu breakfast, lunch menu, a dinner menu and the possibility of supersizing all this and think "Oooh what a great idea, I know that I eat super size three DCP times a day every day, "please let the dumb fucks do. Let them fucking fat and die of heart failure before they have the opportunity procreate and create more stupid people. People Darwin is before our eyes, the survival of the fittest. We have to make to bring awareness to these fucks fat and stick " fingers in the throat and princesses who do, are extinguished and the world will be smarter and easier to live that ads do not warp minds people, minds and minds are deformed and are to be destroyed. I diverge. I'm not a size zero. I am a size 10 when I try, a size 12 when they do and in a stage of my life a size 14 (but do not talk about this time.) Even if I wanted to be a size zero could not because I was born under a size 10/12 and no matter how lose weight I will not get any smaller than this, I'll just look scrawny. So it's not my body that bothers me or is the issue here is what is wrapped around it, and this is what determines if I am a 10 or 12, if I feel good or not and if I take off my clothes or not. I'm talking about excess fat, and is the bathroom of my existence. My only true love, food, sits on my hips, belly, thighs, arms, etc, and ironically makes me unhappy. So much so that I can not take the pleasure of eating, how I feel guilty of it.
Apparently, everyone in the world has their own opinion about weight loss and the best / right thing to do and I do not know who listen more. Let's start with the diet. There are so many diets now I can not keep pace and each has its own characteristics difficult, dangerous or simply ridiculous. I swear I have said in one way or another, that each food group is actually a bad one for me. I even worked in a bar with a guy who once told me was fattening lettuce! Drop carbohydrates, proteins fall, only fruit, vegetables and fruits only, dairy, fuck everything in moderation, special K. I can not deal with it. Once I think I have clear in my head what to eat to ensure a bit of weight loss and a healthy lifestyle, someone will disagree. I do not really go back to eating junk food or sweets, chocolate, chips, etc, but now I think potatoes, bread, rice, pasta and anything computer carbohydrates that are produced and demons being a vegetarian it makes mealtime a somewhat limited I think. Especially because, obviously, have to cut the cheese, nothing in a bottle and anything made by Linda McCartney. (You can try to take me, but hummus than ever, I'm not listening to pussies). So someone carrots? But not boiled for too long because even going to lose their goodness, if cooked too, apparently. So we are left with raw vegetables, also known as a salad. Now the hands that really, honestly, never feel satisfied after eating a salad. It is true that with summer coming I long under heavy foods (exchange McCoys of eighth – are floaty light) and a salad can be made the transition from lasagna and garlic bread accompaniment to a meal in its own right. But even then there is the dilemma, should be allowed croutons? After all are fried bread? And I do not even start in the salad dressing! The other day I bought a "virtually fat free" Thousand Island dressing and feeling very pleased with myself holding large amounts of it over the lettuce and cucumber essence my friend goes out with "yes, but it will be full of sugar that is converted to fat if not burned. "FUCK OFF. SERIOUSLY! Do not allow me anything more???!
So that last comment brings me to the topic at the "Care" world we now exercise in. life. The word makes me shudder. I hate it. I hate it. I know the people I love, yearning, I can not wait to go down that old gym and pump some iron. The only conclusion I can draw is that they are clinically insane and are convinced that enjoy something just because they have said it is good for you, like colonic irrigation or something equally horrible. But I can not argue with the fact that it is good for you (in small doses mind). And after years of avoiding that I have succumbed and I have a gym. In fact, I've had this since August, but only in the last three months actually made use of it. So now I'm in my 3rd month gymming three times a week. This may seem like nothing to you, but for me this is a great achievement. Not only be exercising, but to maintain a routine during the time that I have is a great thing. Monday, Wednesday and Friday will find me sweating my little heart on my terribly expensive (but close to my house that is for him) resort. (Just to point out that Good Friday being massively lost hangover, but in the spirit of things, I tried a tour of the river which I admit now it was probably because I was still drunk and a very bad idea indeed).
So one would think that I would the gym and pushing myself to the point that sweat more than I knew I could three times a week would be enough to satisfy people. You think wrong. It seems that, as with food, everyone has their own opinion of what "type of exercise you should be doing. Weight loss, toning, abs, biceps, triceps, buttocks, aerobics, blah, blah, bollocks bollocks. You ask me 'What do you accomplish? " I want to look good. Full stop. I want to put on a bathing suit and look like Carmen Electra (who is not a size zero before you start calling me a hypocrite all). I want a flat stomach and a tight ass and thighs and want to be able to wave without the bottom of my arm with a delay of two seconds behind the top of my arm. And most importantly I want to get this with as little work as possible. So what I like doing exercise wise? Nothing really. I guess you can count on dance as exercise and dance fucking love, only a problem of every calorie burned dancing to 100 in beer consumption, usually followed by cheese and mayonnaise chips Kid kebab on the way home so I really can not count with dance as an exercise as such. So what better to start with what I at least hate and to be running and swimmming. I'm not really that bad in the races, which from my personal survey seems to be what everyone hates more. But now I hear "well if you burn fat and calories but it is the most effective way to do this and do nothing tone "or" just get big calves "… .. and I find it very easy swimming and relaxing, but when I feel" oooh not want to be doing swimming a lot, works all the muscles badly and end up with a funny body shape. "So, what should I do? The other day at the gym small Italian usually at the reception was doing some work outside and we have a tendency to flirt shamelessly inevitable anyway that would be my personal trainer for the day. So I asked the required "what do you want to achieve" (add your own Italian accent here). Me was as usual, legs, burns, the response of Tums and soon I was back on the floor (keep it clean here guys), clinging to two lifting handles legs up and down without letting it touch the ground. This is hard shit and to top it up whenever literally pushes them down with all his strength, all the time shouting "one, due, tre" etc. First, this was traumatic because, as a protest against men and things than sex, I have not shaved legs since she was dumped at the beginning of January this year (which is 4, yes it has 4 months). Therefore, this physical contact with a male was very little uncomfortable for me and probably him too. But that aside, fuck me, that was so fucking hard and I'm not joking, I was paralyzed by the best of week. If this is what it takes to get a perfect figure then I will keep my (a bit too big, but hopefully in an endearing kind of way) thank you very much belly.
So after this rant mass really is nothing left. I like the food and I hate that I leave the exercise of the option of being fat, or miserable. Really me lowers that will never be able to just let what I want to eat again without the annoying little shit in my head saying "time is only bikini around the corner, which is always going to find that attractive if we have that portion size …. "
I realize now I said "" will find attractive and makes me wonder why I do it? Why want the slim figure which basically require a lifetime of celery and training complete. Is it to attract the opposite sex, or is it for me. I think a combination thereof. If I look better and feel healthier, I will release a more attractive environment confidence, which will attract more people, meet someone, get a ring on my finger and make it up to me what is not never leave me. Then once I have caught, start stop eating more fat and happy exercising! Ja, ja Psycho! No. I do not do that, I hope!
But what can we conclude from all this is that you really should not listen to people. Anyone who has opinions on what the muscles to be working or what food groups that should fall etc are most likely talking shit total. For example, someone tells me to run is not going to help, probably can not run for more than five minutes so if they convince themselves using not help, no to worry about the fact that they can not. Once again, my high opinion of the general public shines through, but there is some truth in that. Who wants his best friend to be thinner than they? So when we are eating dominoes, drinking chocolate and beer to convince them to do with us. If I am fattening are so fucking good! It makes us feel better about our vices – smoking and drinking is another classic for that. I pretty much gave the alcohol for most of January to March many friends that try to convince me to drink with them because if I'm drinking it does well for them.
Well, I'm lucky that my diet new year kick started this year by getting dumped horribly and being so miserable that just ate the best of two weeks (to get those violins), but I do not recommend this. In fact I would not recommend anything. Each to their own I say. Whatever works for you. As for me, I'll keep you posted, but I think apart from working to lower weight and get fit and healthy I will work on falling in love with my curves and potholes. Just look at J-Lo's ass. She must be doing something right arrogant rich bitch!
I'll leave with the lyrics of a song from a punk band random ex post in a mix CD for me. I do not remember his name but these lyrics sum up my feelings perfectly … ..
When I was a young boy, knee high to a pig
I had so much life in me, I would run and jump and jump and staff
I ate almost nothing, all I could
Cakes and scones and muffins and cakes, my word those days they made good taste
Now I'm two feet tall and the world is a different place
It seems that the last thing anyone wants to do is rather expensive
Mention "What for dessert, "and only get a frown
The things that used to pick me up, I just depressed
Read the newspaper, its becoming quite boring
I've thrown away, cos I've heard it all before
Do you take sugar in tea, do you have enough vitamin C
Do you count calories, are virtually free of fat?
Cut their cholesterol levels and maintain its high fiber content
Beware of preservatives, read the package before buying
Keep your eyes on sugar and stop eating all the candy
Well, we begin to wonder if something is left for eat
I've heard on television, has gone far beyond a joke
Pointers dietary fat guy thin
Do you take sugar in tea, do you have enough vitamin C
Do you count calories, they are virtually fat free?
I do not want to cause a Hoo Ha ha, but do not you think its gone too far
When you give a man the third grade, just because it has a little sugar in tea … ..
About the Author
Female 24 years old – just writing for fun!
Go away little girl ~ Beer Belly Bob at neighborhood BAR