Bartending Resumes

I hire to be crazy? I have the personality, but would like some advice. Thanks everyone!
A resume for a job as a barman?!? For f * ck love, just something that shows off your boobs and azz and do our best to maintain a normal conversation. If you interview a guy, flirt with him and give him the "f * ck me" is all that really counts when it comes to hiring, lol, I can say in your avatar, you might have a shot in most places simply do not act like a prude. their life goals and objectives. " You can teach a monkey to serve drinks, but the monkeys are not drunk, or at least should not, for gettin 'with multiple clients is a good way to get your azz fired, in most clubs is that it is bad for business. So sexy look but keep the legs closed, at least
Resume Writing Tips : How to Write a Resume for a Bartender Job